I Love You, is that so wrong?
by Octoberr
Summary: Haruka has returned from England, but what do his friends think of him now? Will he ever get over the guilt of his betrayal, and what about Kou? Will Haruka ever realize his true feelings? Rated T for mild sexual content -HIATUS/REVAMP-
1. Chapter 1 Did You Miss Me Too?

~Quick AN!~

Hey guys, be gentle with me please (T~T)! This is the first fanfic I have ever written, and it was about time too! I've been pondering the story for about a month now, cause I wasn't really sure what I wanted for the characters. I've got it all figured out now though...so no worries! I'm planning to write MUCHOS chapters, so no worries about that either, stuff WILL happen. They're just in their pre-realization stage right now... next chapter I promise a bunch of fluff (so bear with me!)! I apologize for any OOC during the story, but lets face it, if they're not a _little_ bit out of character, nothing will EVER happen. Oh, I will also be adding a little adventure later on in the story to strengthen their bond or whatever...:P

See ya at the bottom of the page! ^_^

**Title: **I Love You, is that so wrong? (you will get the title later, as I progress further on in the story...)

**Rating:** T for future scandalous acts :)

**Paring:** Kou x Haruka (Shota~ don't like, don't read! Well, it's lightly hinted anyway...for now :)_)

**Warnings:** none really any...not yet at least :) {hinted boy's love, perhaps...again, for now :) MWHAHAHAHAHA}

* * *

{PROLOGUE}

His knees were shaking uncontrollably and his stomach was sick with butterflies, but eventhough he was nervous to the point he could pass out, he remained composed. You would expect nothing less from a boy with a highclass and sophisticated upbringing. The 11 year old boy had already graduated from an American university and had recently gone to study in England, but that was after _it_ had happened.

That was now behind him. The airport was crowded, and so was the small row of seats on the side, the ones he was sitting in. He had temporarily returned to Japan after close to a year of studying in a refined English university, and was anxious to see the friends he had left behind. Even if he wasn't sure they still considered him a friend, he missed them, and wanted to see them more than anything. All the more important, he wanted to apologize. He had betrayed their trust, and the guilt was eating at him like a hungry rat.

_After what I've done how can they possibly even consider forgiving me?_, he thought, _but I have to apologize, I owe them that much._

Lost in his deep train of thoughts he didn't notice his butler returning with the luggage. He layed one of his hands genlty on Haruka's shoulder, Haruka flinched.

"Are you alright Haruka-sama?" he asked carefully.

"Yes", Haruka replied, snapping out of his daydream, " Yes, I'm fine, thank you." He recomposed himself, and faked an uncertain smile, which has been showing up an awful lot lately.

"Shall we go then Haruka-sama?", the butler requested. Haruka nodded. He got up and they left the airport, descending on to the hotel.

. .. .

. .. .

Haruka was all alone in the hotel room. His butler had gone out to run some errands and get the paperwork in order,but that was around an hour ago.

He pranced around the room impatiently. He was used to being alone, but this felt different somehow. Not knowing what to do with himself, he decided to sit down on the bed as he felt his uneasyness subside a bit. At least he had stopped his useless roaming-around-the-room habit, that was_ one _accomplishment.

His abstinance of nervous habits didn't last for very long though, considering he had started to fiddle with the small golden earring that hung in his right ear.

_There is not much left of it though, _he thought.

He w_as_ right. The charm that used to dangle in the now empty ring was destroyed in the final battle, the ring was all that was left of it.

Toying with the lonely accesory felt strangely unsatisfying, and he let himself fall backwards onto the soft, freshly made up bed. He curled up partially, like a cat, and enveloped in his thoughts closed his eyes. There was a lot on his mind and he needed to concentrate to sort them out. He wished he was able to see his friends again, maybe he could talk to one of them about it. He could talk to Akira, Shirogane, Master, Kengo, Aya...well maybe not Kengo, he would never be able to concentrate long enough to actually listen, but he was sure Akira would be able to hear him out. And Kou... He opened his eyes at the thought of him.

"Onii-chan", he whispered. His heart skipped a beat, and he clutched the soft material of the bed, squizing it in his small hands.

_I wonder if he will ever be able to forgive me._

His eyes closed once again, and suddenly he realized how tired he was.

. .. .

. .. .

KNOCK, KNOCK.

Harukas eyes snapped open.

How long have I slept?

KNOCK, KNOCK, the door rasped as it grew more impatient.

"Coming", replied a groggy looking Haruka, as he scurried over to the door, barely able to keep his eyes open and rubbing them unconciously trying to wake himself up.

_The butler must have returned_, Haruka thought, as he grabbed the doorknob he turned it slowly. And as the door opened Harukas eyes widened, and a mix of many different emotions washed over him. It was as if someone had just made a cocktail out of his stray feelings and dumped it over his head, because in the doorframe stood very last people he expected to see. Akiras face displayed a warm smile, a gloved hand gently resting on his shoulder, and behind him, attached to the hand, was Shirogane, displaying a very nervous expression. But before any of them could utter a single word of greeting, Kengo jumped out from behind them and pounced Haruka, as if he was a Jaguar pouncing a prey.

"Haruka~", he purred.

"K-Kengo", his voice revealed both excitement and horror, for these people were the ones he wanted to see most and least of all, "W-what are you doing here?"

"Eh?", he replied, confused, " didn't you invite us here?"

"We came to see_ you_", Akira explained, "Your butler visited our houses and invited us. He said you seemed lonely, and was hoping we might cheer you up."

Haruka was speechless, what was there to say? Yes, he had been acting strange lately, and yes, he was lonely, but having them here...he just didn't know what to do. For some reason though, he started crying.

"Ha-Haruka?", Kengo stuttered, "D-Did I hurt you? I'm sorry!"

Aya, who had remained hidden from behind the guys' backs, jumped out, her wooden sword in her hand, ready to punish Kengo.

"BAKA!", she yelled, "Why aren't you more careful!"

"I-it's alright. I-I'm just so happy", Haruka managed to blurt out between sobs.

Aya and Kengo alike, were dumbfounded.

"Ok guys, everyone out", Akira ordered, "We need some space here."

"But Akira!", Shirogane and Kengo protested.

"Akira's right, all of you, OUT!", Aya commanded, also recognizing the guys' need to be alone.

The boys slumped off, and Aya followed. Slowly closing the door and peaking her last glances at the guys left behind.

_Oh Haruka_, she signed, feeling sympathetic for the weeping boy, _please be alright_.

. .. .

. .. .

"Ok", Akira said, "spill it. What's going on? I've never seen you cry before."

"It's just...", Haruka started, "I'm just so happy to see you. I thought...I thought you might never want to see me again", he sobbed, "for what I did to you..."

Before Haruka could continue Akira had kneeled down and wrapped his arms around the boy and was hugging him tightly.

"Shut up already, nobody's going to think like that. We understand why you did what you did. So stop crying, you baka."

Haruka nestled his head in the others shoulders, and hugged him back. He found Akira's harsh words strangely comforting. Maybe it was the air of maturity that seemed to follow the boy, he didn't know and didn't care, he just let the warmth spread through his body and replace the cold loneliness that had swept over him just moments ago. He pulled away and wiped off his tears on the sleeve of his suede jacket.

"Thank you, Akira. I feel better now.", and he smiled, a REAL smile, the first one in years.

"No problem.", he grunted, slightly embarassed, "Let's go, there are people waiting."

"Yes, I think so too.", he said as he reached for Akira's arm.

. .. .

. .. .

Kou was nervous. He had missed Haruka a LOT while he was gone, he missed caring for the boy. They had been almost inseperable before the battle, and afterwards neither of them had spoken to the other. He had wanted to, but Haruka avoided him, and hadn't even looked him in the eye once. How he wished they could go back to the time that Haruka was cheerful, even if he had faked it. Oh, Kou had known alright. He knew what Haruka had planned even before they were close, he just didn't know why. In the final showdown, it was Kou who had tried to talk Haruka out of it, unsuccesfully, but he had always known that Haruka would make the right decision in the end. Even if his happiness was a lie, the friendship between them had always felt real, and he hoped that that was not just a delusion made up by his hopeful mind. Their close friendship was one of the many reasons that the past months had been a living hell for him. While Haruka was off in England doing God-knows-what Kou was still sulking that he had not been able to make Haruka stay. After all, he was really attached to that kid, and _that_ he knew as well. Constantly wondering how the boy was doing, fighting the urge to call him from the other side of the world, despite the time difference, just to make sure he was ok, there was really something wrong with him. He had never cared so much about anyone before, and that bothered him most of all.

Turning back to reality he saw his friends up ahead. He gave them a quick wave.

"Hey Ken, Aya, Shirogane. What's up? Why are you guys out in the hallway? Did Haruka finally get enough of you and scold you?", he joked. A normal, but important part of his life.

"Kou-nii!", Kengo cried, not yet over the shock of Haruka practically bursting into tears.

"What is it Ken?", Kou inquired as Kengo was annoyingly hanging on his sleeve.

"I-I think I broke Haruka~!", he bawled.

(AN: yes, looks like Haruka has now been demoted to the rank of toy...-_-" sorry guys...)

Kou's stomach dropped, and all common sense was cast aside.

"You did what?", he demanded trying to sound as calm as possible, what was he getting so worked up over?

"Calm down Kou-san", Aya tried in vain, "Don't take to heart what Kengo said, Haruka is alri...", but that was as far as she went before she realized it was useless, and instead just stood there, frozen in place, gaping at Kou. He was striding towards the hotelroom in big steps, furious.

"Uhm, Kou?", Shirogane let out, baffled by his behaviour.

The words just seemed to fly past him, totally oblivious of their target, it was like talking to air. He didn't take long to reach the door and forced it open with a big swing.

. .. .

. .. .

Haruka looked up at the doorway and saw Kou standing there, he almost didn't recognize him, he had never seen such a pained expression on his face. What at first looked like fury, was with closer observation more like concern than anger.

For Kou it felt like his heart was on fire, as if an internal battle was being fought between concern for the boy and anger for the one who misdid him, it felt like hell.

Akira just stood there, Harukas hand still in his. He snickered. _I never thought I'd see that kind of look on his face, not even when concerning me or Kengo._

"Onii-chan.", Haruka gasped (Kou was still being scary as hell).

"We were just about join you guys.", Akira explained, "you are just in time."

Kou fixated his piercing blue eyes questionably on Haruka, he looked a little shaken by Kou's violent appearance, but beside that seemed just fine. His heart relaxed, and he suddenly felt stupid for overreacting like that. _Was that really necessary?_ he scolded himself. His mout turned into a mischievous grin as he collectively strolled over to the place where Haruka and Akira were standing.

"Sorry for bursting in like that Aki", he started, " I had heard you had stolen Haruka from me, and I just had to come and get him back.", Kou teased while he casually put his arm around Haruka.

"You know your mine right?", he whispered, hot breath tickeling Harukas ear seductively, "Don't think I'll let you get away that easily." he finished with a playful grin and a wink.

Haruka could feel his cheeks burning, and he desperately tried to avoid the mans icy, blue eyes, that somehow showed more warmth than any others he had gazed in.

Kou placed a hand on Haruka's forehead.

"Are you alright? Your burning up.", he said.

Haruka nodded, for some reason he was unable to speak.

"Aki, go fetch him a glass of water", he ordered, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Will do.", Akira said as he took off towards the fridge in the corner.

"Now to take care of you...". He turned his gaze back to the boy. Well, it's not like his eyes ever _really _left.

"I-I'm fine, don't worry about me!", he hurriedly stuttered, frantically motioning his hand from left to right and shaking his head.

"Bullshit!", he exclaimed, "I'm not going to listen to a sick kid talk nonsense."

Then he grabbed Haruka by the waist and hoisted him up into his arms in rescued-princess position. He carried Haruka all the way to the bed and plopped him down on the soft matress.

"Stay there until you feel better.", he ordered, as he walked off.

Haruka was in shock for a moment, not able to think about anything, but he quickly recalled the way he was brought to the bed and started blushing like crazy, his cheeks turning a crimson color. He buried his head in the pillow he was laying on to hide his embarrassment. His heart skipping beats left and right. _Why did he have to do that?_ He wanted to squeal in happiness, but wasn't sure if the pillow would muffle the sound enough and decided not to risk it.

"I'm sure you're not really sick", he heard a familiar voice say as something was set on the table beside the bed, "but for now, just play along with Kou-nii alright? He just wants to take care of you, after all, he has been very lonely since you left. Well, see you later, Haruka."

With that he was left alone in the room to think about what Akira had said to him.

_Onii-chan, did you miss _me_ too?_

* * *

Hello again! Welcome to the boddom of this page, WHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Well whatever, some formalities then...

I wanna thank my lovely editor, Caitlin, for making my story presentable, without you my story would be crappier than it already is, thank you so much for putting up with me T^T! That's about it...nobody else to thank, besides myself ^-^ *patpat* good job me! Anyhow, to end this lame author's note, here's a quote from one of my favorite people on earth...(he's not really alive, but whatever...)

"Whatever else you may think, one thing is certain: all homos are SATAN'S RAPE DEMONS...!"

-Tatsumi, Soichii (aka. Senpai) - Koisuru Boukun

I'm sorry Morinaga, I feel your pain...T^T

If it make you feel better, I love you, you do what none of us are capable of...converting a straight, tyrannical, too-stubborn-for-his-own-good homophobe and teaching him love...you are my hero T^T *tears of happiness*

October OUT!

_editor's notes:_

Well I must say this is pretty fun, to edit (did it in place of my review :P). Kou scared me at the end though.

Thank you for asking me to do this, but your mistakes are getting smaller & smaller, soon I won't be needed...T~T

_AN- I'll always need you, I'd be lost without my precious editor T^T_

-random smiley face- ~.~

Haruka & Aki~

Haru & Akiiii~ x3

_Random AN - See you guys! Hope to hear from my precious readers!_


	2. Chapter 2 Realization

~AN Notes~

Hey guys! Up to the second chapter already, wow. I know I was slow, at least I'm not going to lie to you, it's because I'm lazy and I take long. Honestly, I could've done this a lot sooner, but knowing me, I wouldn't have. So many goddamn question marks O_O! Why is it written this way? (says the person who wrote this nonsense in the first place...-_-). I guess I'm more obesses with question marks than I thought...

Don't tell me I'm not doing enough, I stayed up until 2 a.m. last night finishing this -_-, I'm tired.

I've got to apologize for the slowness of the story, they're in realization stage, hence the title; realization. I must also apologize in advance for one more thing, my editor has secluded herself from me. I don't know what she's doing currently (I'm guessing she's either on vacation or to busy playing Elsword...), however I can't seem to get ahold of her. She is a terrible person when it comes to things like this...-_-. It's all forgiven, her awesomeness makes up for it. So, only part of the story is edited, the rest is raw (or slightly edited by me, which doesn't make much of a difference). Here you go, I didn't want to make you wait longer, I will update it when I can contact my idiot editor. Till the bottom of the page! ^_^

**Title: **I Love You, is that so wrong? (again, later in the story)

**Rating:** T for safeTY (ok, lame pun...-_-)

**Paring:** Kou x Haruka (Shota~ don't like, don't read! I'm not forcing you or anything)

**Warnings:** shota (underage boy), implied sexual themes, slowness for life -_-

* * *

Kou hurried out of the hotelroom, unable to fully comprehend what had just happened. His face was flushed, his heart was racing, and he was unable to control his breathing. And worst of all was the painfully aching hole in his chest, he longed for something he knew deep down he couldn't have.

Earlier that night he had gone back to check on Haruka, and found that, to his suprise, the boy was sleeping. He walked towards the bed to pull the covers over the boy's small body when he heard Haruka's voice whisper small words. Kou moved his face closer to listen to the sounds the boy was making, hoping they would form sentences. He was pretty curious at what Haruka would say in his sleep. He saw the boy's lips as they faintly parted and a sigh passed over his tongue.

"Onii-chan...", he breathed, and he snuggled into his pillow, a content smile lingering on his small, red-tinted lips.

Kou swallowed hard, his throat was dry, his mind was currently going into full overload. Haruka was way too cute for his own good, how could someone like Kou possible ignore that? He felt his chest painfully tighten, his mind succumbed to the man's desires, urging him to inch closer, ruffle the boys hair, caress his skin, make his way up to the small lips...

A stiffled moan shook him back into his surroundings, and he became aware of the position he was in. One of his hands was cupping the boys face, another was on the boys chest, fingers slipping under the thin fabric of the thin boy's shirt. Kou's face was merely millimeters from Haruka's, noses touching, their lips nearly pressed fully together. In that moment he had understood. These incomprehencible feelings he had for months since the boy came into his life seemed so foolish and simple now. The thought of Haruka as his little brother hadn't felt right anymore, it hadn't for a while. It unsettled him, it hurt him deeply to say it, because in his heart he knew he wanted more. He was in love.

He took Haruka's face in his hands, and quickly placed a gentle kiss on his nose.

"Goodnight", he said soflty, a heavy boulder seemed to be pushing down on his heart. Afraid for his sanity, he tore himself away from the boy's side, covering his eyes with his hands, and hastened out of the dimmed bedroom.

. .. .

. .. .

He had felt everything. The way Kou had inched closer, moved his hands through the youth's pale hair, stroked his face and their lips brushed together slightly as the gap narrowed between them. He had kissed him! That had been his first kiss. His heart was thumping so loudly in his chest, he was sure Kou had heard it. He had even moaned! How was it even possible for such a sound to come out him? However, he didn't deny, it felt good. It just felt so right, the way Kou's strong hands had gently teased the skin on his stomach. His nerves were on fire, but now that the feeling was gone his chest grew tight, and his stomach ached. The longing feeling he had quickly replace the momentary rush of ecstacy he had felt minutes ago.

_Why am I feeling this way? My heart is beating so fast!_

He pulled the covers up to his nose and snuggled into the warmth, hoping that it would replace the loss of comfort Kou's presence had brought him, but he was unable to fall asleep. After twisting and turning so vigorously for what felt like hours he became tangled in his bedsheets. He had been so preoccupied, he hardly noticed his butler as he made way into the room.

"Haruka-sama?", he coughed, "is there anything you need?", he asked courteously.

Haruka turned his attention to butler and sat up in his bed (to the best of his current abilities, for he was still stuck between the bedsheets), and took on a more mature posture.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you", he answered calmly, fully aware he looked like a human coccoon right about now.

"Shall I bring you some tea then?", he tried.

"Yes, that would be nice." He smiled before the butler left the room, glad that he didn't seem to have noticed his young master was mummified.

After he was sure the butler had left Haruka fought violently trying to wrestle himself from under the tangled sheets. Finally after 10 minutes of helplessness and insufferable constiction, he managed to successfully to pull himself from under the fleece and proceeded to get a change of clothes. He had slept in his after all, and a clean set of clothes was needed after the many hours he had spent in that stuffy airplane. It also gave him a chance to let his thoughts wander, he needed the time to get his mind straight. Why did he force himself to think about the situation with Kou anyway. He knew nothing about _this kind of thing_. How would he? He was eleven for gods sake, it's not like he was experienced in anything of the sort.

"Haruka-sama, the tea is ready.", he heard the butler say from behind the closed door.

"Oh, I will be out soon.", the boy responded, buttoning up his shirt and heading towards the door.

He walked through the broad form of the doorframe, and neglectingly strolly over to the high-quality mahogany chair and table set that were placed in the middle of the livingroom and sat down. From the moment he had he already started staring off into space, his eyes looking blankly at no object in particular. His mind was running over the events from earlier this morning, everything was fuzzy, he had not slept since that time and was rather tired. That sleepless night was plagued by thoughts of the older man. He kept thinking of the moments he had spent with Kou in the past, and since last nights scene he was unable to stop thinking about them. Altogether his thoughts just kept on spinning, and just kept on zooming in on the person who caused this all to happen. A slight blush tinged his face a rosy color as he thought about the man. His butler must have noticed something odd, for he looked rather bothered by his masters absentmindness.

"I have heard from Akira-san what happened, it's very unfortunate that you've acquired an illness this early on in your vacation.", the butler tried. Haruka however, kept on looking into the distance, and without much regard uttered a small 'hm'.

" Haruka-sama", he asked in the tone usually issued by a concerned parent, "did by chance anything happen last night?", he urged, "With Kou-san perhaps?"

The mention of Kou's name shook the daydreaming boy back into reality, and he looked up at the butler briefly. The boy's brain took a second to push aside all his previous thoughts and process what his butler had just asked, and then it hit him, and the whole scene from the night before replayed in his head. His face started to become even redder than it had already been, and it didn't take long for the full force of the incident to hit him and a blush to burst uncontrollably on his cheeks. He turned his face toward the ground, purposefully averting his eyes with that of the butlers, and frantically tried to hide his brightly flushed face.

"I knew it.", he cried out, "Haruka-sama, as your guardian let me handle this matter personally.", the butler said, enraged by the shamelessness of the man who 'supposively' defiled his young master.

Haruka threw up his head in desperation, "No, wait!", he screamed.

The butler froze where he stood, baffled, Haruka-sama had never raised his voice for any matter. The butler turned around.

"It's nothing", Haruka said, ashamed he had acted the way he did, "nothing happened. There is no matter to be resolved." He uttered the last sentence with regained composture.

However, the butler still remained nailed to the ground in way Haruka screamed brought back long forgotten memories, ones of the time he had been assigned the job as butler to the Kujo family, and of the moments Haruka had been left alone by his family. It was in the time he used to cry. However, that boy was no longer here. The events in his past had hardened and matured the boy, he rarely shed any emotions. That moment had been the first time he had seen the boy so hysteric since the death of his parents.

"Yes, I understand.", the butler said, defeated, and he left the room.

Haruka let out a sigh, he had let his emotions take control over him, and on top of that he had nearly destroyed his image in front of his butler. His emotions were out of control of late, it was becoming bothersome having to fight his feelings, but he could never let anything destroy him as much as his past had done. It was what had made this mess in the first place, what had made him hate himself the past months he had spent in England. He would have to work harder to keep them in check, but his mind sent him back spinning.

_But why had I lashed out like that? What is wrong with me?_

. .. .

. .. .

Kou had calmed down tremendously, and was currenly the only one sitting in Bar Still. His hands were weaving through his hair in frustration and was letting out sighs, ones that could be considered the very definition of melancholy. He twirled around the golden liquid in his crystal glass by simple hand movements, paused for a couple of seconds as if to take a sip, and then continued twirling in the opposite direction. Master looked at the gloomy-aired spot that inhabited the corner of the bar (he sweared it was growing mushrooms), and fought back a stiffled laugh. Kou looked so defeated he was the spitting image of a kicked puppy. Just imagining the flattened ears and dejected look on the man's face brought forth more waves of laughter. His self-enjoyment didn't last long, for the man jumped at the sound of glass, shattering as it hit the floor below.

"Shit. I'm sorry Master, I...", Kou began to explain, but abruptly stopped and clenched his lips shut, while kneeling down to pick up the broken shards of glass from the wooden floor. Master carefully manouvered his way out from behind the counter with a towel, and assisted his friend in cleaning up the fragments of broken glass.

"It's alright, no harm done. Did you injure yourself?", he asked in his gentle voice.

"No, I'm fine.", he said briefly before he returned back to cleaning up the mess he had made. previously.

"Is anything the matter Kou-san?", the bartender asked him out of concern, but also irritatation, which Master had well hidden behind his professional business-man smile. He couldn't stand Kou's secrecy.

"What if there's someone you are actually serious about", Master's eyebrows raised in interest at Kou's sudden change of heart, "but it is probably impossible, on more that one level", he smiled sadly, and laughed at how ridiculously hopeless he felt.

"Even if I could somehow convey these feelings, there is now way they'd actually be accepted, right? Don't answer that.", he smiled again, and raised his hands to his face as. They shielded his eyes, as he half-heartedly tried to hide the fact that he was crying. He was one of those emotional drunks, and today he had downed more liquor than he usually would.

Master had noticed this as well, but who was he to refuse an old friend in need of comfort. It wasn't as if he was usually intoxicated, he rarely drank enough to affect him in the whole. However, in the worst situation the bartender was willing to offer shelter for the night. Kou lived quite a distance from the bar afterall, but regularly came to seek the company of his friends who had shelter closer by. Masters thoughts halted, and he glanced over at Kou who was shaking slightly, tears staining his face from underneath his hands. For a second Master just stood there, his eyes wide from underneath his closed lids.

_Kou, crying? You cannot be serious..._

It's not like he wasn't used to comforting his customers, but this was a very unusual situation. For Kou to have fallen for anyone so seriously to the point he was actually worried, she must be a wonderful person. The bar-owner put his hand on Kou's shoulder, assuring his presence and undivided attention.

"I'll be here. You can tell me your problem. Strictly confidential ofcourse.", he said putting his finger to his lips.

"Thank you.", he simply said, for no words could describe the sense of gratitude he felt towards Master at the moment, and he smiled his sad smile.

. .. .

. .. .

Akira had called the following morning (seemingly forced by Aya and her very threatening wooden-sword, but not completely unwilling), and had proposed a trip as a chance to gather the group together to hang out, and eventhough Haruka was quite familiar with the area it was unsure whether he would once again take up permanent residence in the city, but in the meantime it was a nice excuse that gave the group plenty oppertunity to give Haruka the tourist-treatment. They planned a visit to the local museum, Haruka hadn't visited one yet and was extremely excited to see the exibit on European painters. Many famous artists were on display this week, Vermeer, Rembrandth van Rijn, Rubens, Da Vinci, and Van Gogh were the most visited. The boy was captivated by the different pieces of artwork surrounding him, he had never seen so many beautiful paintings together in one building like he saw today.

He had thought a lot about the situation with Kou before today so he would be able to have fun on the trip, and last night he had decided that it was best to just forget the whole thing, or just ignore it. He couldn't cast aside the man's attention completely, he cherished it too much to even consider such a thing.

_Just act as normal as possible, nothing was really happened_, he reminded himself, _everything was just a bit exaggerated due to my lack of sleep the last couple of days, that's all..._

He stayed close to his butler, flashed everyone warm-hearted smiles and tried to enjoy himself to his fullest extent.

Kou had the same idea. He had talked with Master last night, he couldn't sum up exactly what he had said due to the alcohol that clouded his mind, but one sentence remained stuck in his head.

_"I am in love with Haruka.",_ he had confessed.

_Unbelievable_, he thought, blushing slightly and covering his mouth in disbelief,_ how could I have said something so straightforward and embarassing to Master? Not to mention, how could I ever have let myself go like yesterday?_

The details from last night were foggy, but he had woken up this morning with a killer headache on a futon in Masters apartment above Bar Still, that was the only assurance that yesterday's events were not a dream. Ofcourse he had apologized properly to Master before he left, it was only the right thing to do after involving someone else in your problems like that. It seems he had a little more to drink than he had originally thought. Maybe it was the right thing to do. Not completely hammering himself to forget his problems, but rather confessing them to someone. It felt as if a huge burden was lifted off of his shoulders.

_"Just be sure that you don't do anything that is irreversable. Once something is done you can never take it back"_, Master's words echoed in his ears.

_Just forget about everything, act as your usual self, _he pressed.

Although forgetting his affection was an action not easily done, his feelings were already stronger than that. And it was hard restraining them already.

_Just ignore all your emotions and focus on the trip. If I end up hurting Haruka, I'm not sure if I would be able to forgive myself._

He pushed his thoughts aside and stood up to join the crowd. He grabbed Kengo's head between his arm and started to joke about him not being able to understand art because he was such an airhead. However, his laugh sounded hollow.

. .. .

. .. .

Even to someone who dislikes expressing his feelings it was too obvious.

_Maybe it was just because I sensed something before or maybe it's just because I consider it possible, unlike the others, but seriously. Haruka and Kou are definitally in love with eachother._

Akira could see how Haruka would continuously look over at Kou, but whenever Kou caught his eyes he would look down. Not to mention the boy was blushing like crazy everytime it happened, and must I say that it happened a lot? It happened way more than a lot. Kou was also terrible at hiding his emotions, he had this troubled look on his face as he tried not to steal glances at the young boy. He was having a hard time controlling his gaze, and was probably mentally slapping himself right about now. He never really had a reason to hold back before, so this was most likely torture for the man. Akira had a feeling however that this wasn't the first time he had noticed their behaviour. No, before Haruka had left for England they were already like this. Just not. so. bad. The teen had probably noticed it and then silently shrugged it off, it didn't really bother him that much. He honestly couldn't care less about the appearance of the person fallling in love, he wasn't one for prejudice. Yet it was really frustrating him to have to see them like that. It was just pathetic.

_The problem between them is that Haruka is never going to do anything, innocent and inexperienced as he is, and Kou is going to hold back his feelings as long as he possibly can, and thus is going to miss his chance. Cause let's face it, who knows when Haruka is going back? By the way, Kou is way to gentle to do anything against Haruka's will in the first place. This is so FRUSTRATING_, Akira thought as he frowned heavily, snearing his way through the painting-covered hallway and sat down on a lonely bench off to the side.

He had heard about Kou's meltdown from Master this morning. Akira had received a call from him explaining the situation, he had been very worried about Kou since he had left so abruptly.

_"In all these years I have known Kou-san, I have never seen him like that"_, well, neither had Akira. He had a hard time believing Master when he described in great detail how it had happened, it just seemed to out of character to him. The happy-go-lucky Kou, crying while drowning himself in alcohol? Not real, but then again. Master had no reason to lie, that part really got to Akira.

_It obvious Kou doesn't have any confidence in this, and since he thinks it's hopeless he is definitally not going to try anything to find out if it's actually mutual or not. I guess that leaves me no choice, if I have to look at this sorry sight for one more minute I am going to explode._

"Akira-cha~n!"

_Oh god._

Akira looked over his shoulder towards the source of the noise. He didn't have to, he knew exactly what the cause was.

"Please don't call me that.", his tone said it was more of an order than a request.

"Ne, Akira-kun? What are you so mad for?", the white haired shin asked, not really bothered by his friend's harsh tone.

"I'm not mad. I'm just extremely annoyed, not that it's any of your business.", he replied sharply before returning back to observing the unsuspecting pair.

Shirogane plopped down beside him and looked at the scene in front of them that his younger friend was so fixated on. He didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, but vaguely connected the dots when observing as to where Akira was looking and when especially to when the teenager would shake his head and furrow his eyebrows together in dissaproval.

"Well, you know Akira-kun,", Akira turned his head to face his partner, "If the situation between Kou-san and Haruka-san is bothering you, you could do something about it. They were friends once, just because they are unsure about it now doesn't mean that they dislike eachother, right?"

Akira just stared at the other in disbelief.

Eh?, he sneered, he was both surprised that Shirogane actually mentioned a good idea, instead of the useless crap he was usually spouting, and dumbfounded at how far off the man actually was with his estimate of the situation. Seriously, how ignorantly blind could you be? Well, it was Shirogane afterall.

"Whatever.", Akira said coldly.

"That's so mean Akira-kun! I was only trying to help!", he responded with his usual offensive drama-queen attitude, "And I though you might have appreciated the company. You looked kind of lonely.", he said in a soft tone.

"Thanks.", Akira said quietly as he looked at the handsome shin's face. He really did miss the guy after he dissapeared, although he'd never admit it. At least he was happy to have Shirogane back, even if he'd never admit that either. He took a deep breath, and sighed.

"It's not my style to get involved in this, but I might just for the heck of it.", he remarked.

Shirogane just smiled.

. .. .

. .. .

* * *

Welcome back to the bottom of the page once again, I'm sorry if my terrible editing skills killed you or offended you throughout the story. I will fix any suggestions made, I promise (sortof, it had to be approved by me...).

How did you like the ending? I hope it was decent, since my editor can't help me on that now -_-... Anyhow, I will be going to The Netherlands to visit family soon. Yes, I am a native. No, I don't live there at the moment. Yes, I do speak Dutch -_-. Hope that answered your questions... Don't worry, I will be (hopefully) able to update the story there, if it's finished by then. Since I did have part of the story already edited by my wonderful (half-sarcasm, half serious) editor, I can give you the editor notes, your welcome. I also made a fanart of the Kouka pairing (yes, the image that is my book-cover), here's the link if you want to see it: thedrivinpromise . deviantart #/d52r5kg (remove spaces). On to the editor notes -

_~Editor notes~ _

_ so cute by the way~ (referring to the second paragraph aka Haruka's scene ^_^)

I like editing these...but I'm missing my movie.

You have a good story going here! It's really cute~ Write a book okay?

What a normal author's work would be: (picture of a page full of writing). you're work: (picture of 1/3 a page of writing) SHEESH.

See... Soon you won't be needing me... Make mistakes will you?

See you guys in the next chapter! ^_^~


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